Feeling the Shift

feeling the shift

I have come to realize that Motherhood comes in waves and seasons. As soon as I get my footing and feel really comfortable in a particular season, a wave of change (be it ever so slight) will come through and cause me to shift. I know part of that is my own doing. I am not one who likes to just sit and be. Also, my journey with God has always been one of desiring to go deeper. Well, that comes with its own costs. The old cliche, “ignorance is bliss” earned its right to be a staple in our culture. It may only be true for a short season, but it is true nonetheless. Once you have knowledge, you are forced with the choice to turn a blind eye, or act on that information.

Lately, I have been feeling a discontent with our current education process. And by ours I mean my family. This post and the journey of this aspect of my life is evolving and I don’t want that to sound judgy. I am feeling the need to shift. I am doing research and talking to lots of people and praying and thinking because I know that something doesn’t feel right–for us.

Do you ever get that feeling?

Does it ever happen to an area of your life you really felt good about prior to the feeling, and you never in a million years thought you would feel this way about that area.

Yeah, me too.

Our oldest is in public school–and doing really well. He enjoys it, but has expressed discontent from time to time. I know that is normal and for transparency sake, his attitude is only playing a (very) small part in our decision. We are in charge of the first 18 or so years of his life. However, I don’t want to be in charge of him per say when he is in the final stages of living in my home. I want a self-sufficient man-in-the-making to be striding into adulthood with confidence in himself and his connection to his creator. I have been hearing startling statistics about the up and coming generation. The years of adolescence are starting earlier (closer to 9) and ending much later (26 is the new 18). I know! My jaw dropped ,but I can’t argue it. The culture has shifted and we encourage these “years of exploration.” The movie Failure to Launch was a movie that put a funny spin on this very problem in our society. Although it would be a stretch of massive proportions to directly connect public school and regressed adulthood. I mean, I am a public school graduate and doing quite well. I am saying that as a whole, society is fostering this new era and if I want a different result or a better chance at a different result, I need to do something beyond the status quo. Will that mean leaving public school? Maybe. It may also mean I just need to shift something else. I truly believe many factors can end up resulting in the adulthood I envision for my children. I can also do “everything right” and they still make choices that break my heart and my hopes for their future.

That’s the funny thing about our kids; despite us knowing them better than anyone else, they are still wildly unpredictable.

I say all this to say that I feel we, as a family, are being tapped on the shoulder by Holy Spirit. We are being asked to stop and evaluate the current standings and future course of the educational path we are putting our children on. We are stopping to ask if this is working, if this will get us where we desire to go, and if this is best for us. At the end of it all the answer to all those questions might be “YES!” The other side is one that leads to many more questions. Questions I will ask God, friends, Google, and experts. Right now in this moment, I am leaning towards the opposite of “yes” for at least a few of the aforementioned questions.

Question for you:

Are there areas that you have felt the tap on the shoulder and you desperately wanted to ignore it? Where we are usually feels so safe and known. But I am learning as I go that safe and self-sufficient is usually not where the massively mind-blowing awesomeness of the Lord resides.


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