I have to confess that I am not an organized person. I used to be―in certain areas. As a teenager I would let my room get a big mess and then one day just dive in and clean it all up. I got enjoyment from the big difference that cleaning a big mess would give me. However, when I started working full time, I was not that way in the workforce. I was organized and was even put in charge of creating systems within my given position. I loved it and nothing ever got behind. I was great at my job and at keeping all my ducks in a row.
Then I had children…
I really hate to throw their tiny behinds under the bus, but when they entered the world, my organizational prowess left. It kindly took my motivation with it. I have been living with a certain level of clutter―disarray―around me since 2007. I don’t remember my house being terribly dirty before then. Sure, things got cluttered and my room still lived in that cycle of slow clothes build up and then a one-day disappearing act, but nothing like these past seven years. The worst part about it is that it doesn’t bother me as much as it should…I think. I guess I should say, it bothers me more that it doesn’t bother me more. There, that seems clear as mud (winky face).
Here’s the thing, my pastor and his wife have five children and type A personalities. I know their house does not look like mine. To a small degree I am okay with that. To a greater degree I am desperate for a tutoring session on how their house stays clean with that many children under age 10! I have heard him mention this phrase more than once: Order brings peace. I wanted to nod my head in agreement then let it slip right on past my home and apply it to things like the order of everything else…anything else. But alas, he is right (darn it) and I have begun to experience the concept that having my home in order establishes a level of peace that is not present amongst the chaos.
The other reason this is such a pressing matter for me is our decision to try our hand at alternative schooling for our oldest next fall. He will be home a few more days a week and doing some school work. I want to create an environment for he and I to do this without feeling choked out by my own mess. I am thankful that God put this on my heart and lead us to such a great decision so early in the year. He knew I would need months and months to prepare my home and my heart for our next adventure. I do not feel overwhelmed or rushed to make changes. I am taking them one prayerful step at a time. I am going room by room and purging (more, I feel like I just did this) and seeking the best organizational solution for the purpose of that room. With each room, I am praying and asking for Holy Spirit to bring me creative inspiration. This is something I encourage everyone to do. Ask Holy Spirit for divine inspiration or solutions to any and all problems. I am always delighted to receive his insight!
“And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.”
I am asking what lies I am believing about myself that keeps me in this cycle of barely keeping my house functioning. I want to get to the root of why I am always swamped with housework. I do not believe it Is purely my children’s ages or that I have children. I think there is a root cause in me and this year is about uprooting that. I can change and God can refine this part of me. My heart’s intentions is to create more peace in my home and to get joy from cleaning my home and blessing my family. I guess you could say I grabbed from the bag of clichéd New Year’s resolutions, but I see it as more than that. I am looking at the spiritual aspect of it and not just trying to establish better habits, but I want to heal a part of me. Because, (not so) deep down, I want to find joy in the every day, and my every day includes housework. I want to be the best version of myself. That means that my clean home won’t necessarily look like others, but I will be pleased with it. God wants to give us the desires of our heart and I desire to be more organized and let cluttered. I also desire to find a better rhythm for the upkeep of my beautiful home. I want to keep you all updated on my progress. I hope those who feel like I do can be inspired to tackle a thing or two in their own home. I am nearly finished with my office remodel and I want to share it with you all next week!