Yes, the title has it correct…30. It was an age that I once thought to be “old.” I figured I would feel like a real adult and be knee deep in responsibility and the rhythm of my life. I remember watching Friends and thinking that they were the standard for what it looked like to navigate your twenties and glide into your thirties. I am happy to say I was wrong. I didn’t so much slush through my twenties as I did fly by the seat of my pants. I started my twenties as a divorced woman with a recently obliterated reality of how the world (and love) worked. This caused me to tear my faith to its beams and start over with God…and the human race. In the last decade, I have graduated college, married a wonderful man, had three babies (all at home…another story for another time), left the work force, lost my personal identity, and found that I never really had it in the first place. (Whew, that was exhausting writing it, much less living it!) Now I sit on the doorstep of thirty and anxiously wait to enter. In just 12 days it will happen. I will shake the dust of my twenties off and look forward. What do I see?
I see the promise of a life with Jesus as my savior. This doesn’t mean an easy life, most likely the opposite, but it means I have assurance that the end is infinitely better than all this world can offer me. I have a growing understanding and relationship with Holy Spirit -and that my friends, is what assures me that the rest of my life will be an adventure! My husband and I have three beautiful children under age seven and watching them grow and change and mature in the next decade has me wanting to speed up and slow down time all at once. Finally, I am walking into my calling on this earth. I have wanted to be a writer since I was ten. Fear and inadequacy has kept me from writing a single piece until the fall of 2012. Now I am pressing ahead and keeping my heart open to God growing this area of my life. I trust him and his purposes. In this next decade of my life I hope to grow deeper and deeper in love with Jesus. I hope to be in tune with Holy Spirit in a way I can’t even comprehend right now. And I hope to be able to list more than one book in the category of “published works.”
My first bible study is set to release just three days after I turn 30. I have such excitement, utter terror and vulnerability wrapped up in my stomach at the thought of this piece being released. I also am pinching myself that at (almost) 30 I am beginning to pursue such a precious passion of mine. To God be the glory and I am forever amazed that he knows us so intimately and wants to bless the desires of our hearts!
We are collectively called, but individually chosen.