The age of social media has given us a glimpse into peoples’ lives like never before. We know details about a person’s day that we never would have know had we not logged on to a site and read what they posted. I love social media: sharing recipes, scripture, funny kid-isms and of course the photos–I honestly believe it is more good than bad! Now my scope is limited as I wasn’t even an adult when the first social media sites went live, and I have never been a mother in any other era. The thing that I am noticing is, that the “Mommy Wars” are worse because of it. It is possible that there wasn’t such a thing as “Mommy Wars” before social media–I am inclined to think that division among women is as old as time.
Since Eve was targeted in the garden, Satan has had it out for women. You can follow this line of attack through the Old Testament (Leah and Rachel anyone?), the New Testament (Mary and Martha could have their own reality show these days), and today. Women want to take sides on all kinds of issues and make the opposing team out to be terrible human beings for holding their beliefs. **side note** men do this too, but in general women are more verbal about it and even carry it out further…more emotionally, if you will. I don’t know if it is turning 30 that has made me tired of this game or the journey of awakening that has been the last two years, but I am calling it quits!
I have been really meditating on the mindset that there is room for us all to be successful and reach the top of womanhood. God does not have a limited number of women that can be his remnant. If we all stopped putting ourselves in competition with one another, could you imagine what the world would be like?! This struggle shows itself blaringly in motherhood. But there is some truth I want to speak to you today:
In the economy of motherhood, there are not a limited number of top spots.
I can say that I struggled hard with looking to my left and right the first four years of motherhood. I was desperate for others to affirm me and the job I was doing. If they weren’t affirming–and even if they were–I took a hard look at their life and stood it next to my own. I made assumptions and cutting judgments to reassure myself that I was doing the best job. It also made me feel more confident in the counter-cultural decisions I was making. No matter how much I compared, I never could feel at peace with my own decisions because I constantly needed proof that I was not screwing up my children. My confidence was anchored in the judgment of others. When I faced this head on, I started seeing that withholding encouragement actually deprived me of that very thing.
Now I have decided that we all need encouragement. When I start looking at how I can encourage others, I started seeing the good in them, and in myself. I have also decided to anchor my confidence in Christ. I seek his approval and draw my worth form him. This part of the process was MUCH harder than you would think and an entire post will be dedicated to in in the future. But when it comes to other women, think about this: There is room for us all to be fabulous. Be an encouragement to those around you.
Galatians 6:10 tells us “Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.” I want to live out this verse. I am not perfect. As long as I am on this Earth, my soul and body will be vying for control of this perfect-thanks-to-Christ spirit! However, I will strive to be an encouragement to the women in my lives. No one benefits from being cut down, but when you encourage others, the ripple effect can go on and on!
As an additional, slightly-related-to-my-topic resource, my church is currently doing a great series on social media called #selfie. Check it out HERE!