It was invading my thoughts day and night. I would drift from the current happenings of life to the interactions of the past. I would rehash, over analyze and scour every detail of past events to see if I could have done better. The pressure to “do better” to be more Christ like can consume me at times. The wheels inside are turning so veraciously as to how I can grow and manage this situation that I have become completely absorbed by. I just feel the need to DO SOMETHING!
This is not what I am called to do. I am not being asked by the Father to have a meeting in my own mind, and determine the best course of action. There are times when I am not being called to DO anything. However, the enemy has fed my mind with the kindling of self sufficiency until I am ablaze with can-do attitude. “I can take action, I can fix this!” I get huffy and ready to take on confrontation by the horns. All the energy of my feelings swarming around me and cheering me on. Shooting up one-way prayers for guidance, but not waiting for a response, I begin forging ahead.
Does this sound familiar? I am such a problem solver by nature–no really, math story problems were fun for me–it really is that bad. I am not confrontational by nature, but I do not like bad air. I like to clear it when I can. I like intentions to be clear and people to be heard and understood. If this is not happening I can get myself in a tizzy over it real quick. As I am growing in this life though, I see that quick action is rarely the best. Knee-jerk reactions are vulnerable to the Enemy’s influence. A great tactic that I have learned is seeking refuge in the presence of our Comforter, Holy Spirit. Bringing it all to God and just resting in His goodness and his promises for me. Hiding in the comfort of his tents (presence) keeps you safe from the influence of the Enemy. It can be one of the most powerful weapons in a spiritual battle. Rest in the knowledge that you belong to him and he desires you!
I have fallen in love with Psalms as I journey through a chapter a day. Psalm 61 is where I went today. (A little out of turn, but much needed). I am going to include the whole chapter here. May it speak to you in times of struggle through this life.
Psalm 61 (NIV)
Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer. From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe. I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings. For you, God, have heard my vows; you have given me the heritage of those who fear your name. Increase the days of the king’s life, his years for many generations. May he be enthroned in God’s presence forever; appoint your love and faithfulness to protect him. Then I will ever sing in praise of your name and fulfill my vows day after day.